These paintings are both a few years old but I never put them up. Both are portraits, my budy Zac and the other is me. There was a third i made at the same time but I don't think I have a photo of it. I really miss having a proper studio and being able to totally recluse in painting as a vocation. I've had a hectic few years, I've moved around, devoted big chunks of time towards other things and spent periods just mentally scattered so i havnt been able to really give myself the opportunity to put much time or money towards painting, not more than as a hobbyist. I'm hoping in the future I'll be less busy learning bad habits and then spending twice as long learning to forget them.
In the middle of last month I had what I ges you could call a near death experience, was actually a bit serious, I'm lucky too often. Things like that make you try to self-actualise which i ges is why I spent a couple of days questioning if I'm living well/doing the right thing. In general i try not to spend too much time getting into that stuff, weighing up my life as a whole or trying to figure out if I've done enough or if I just need to be more eudaimonic about the whole thing and go hippy out. I'm an animal and I don't think I'm ment to understand everything. I've done alot of things I wouldn't do again, but I can't say I regret anything and don't think I ever will. It all seems to be part of it. All the same, when it happened middle of last month, I did realise that if my time was up at that point I would be bummed for not taking the time to have a more serious paint more often. Its such a nice way to spend time. Hopefully I can stop using all my cat lives and live to be old, so between now and then, even if my reasons for doing it and expectations from it arnt the same again, I really hope I get to have a proper crack at really playing w painting.