- The Roundup - Been having a whole lot of fun with Luce lately. Best part about dating a girl from another country is they don't already think everything is lol. My mates and I have a habbit of hating things, so dating a girl who 'doesn't' hate things ensures I create cool memories outside of bulk video games and questionable substances 🤗 p.s big shoutout to @jkbeardmore @fanny_co for an amazing engagement party, congrats again guys😗😚😚
- The Cool Shirt - I'm fascinated by the words on this top... "be lookin good. Re-e-al good. Adios"...is it a compliment or an insult? Words to live by, or random string of consciousness? Who knows, but I've worn it three days in a row and started using adios in normal conversation again, so some might say that's the real victory 🤙
- The Mans Not Hot - This one goes out to my summer-time bandits; the token snowman in every friend group who regularly says "lol the elements" and proceeds to wear 3+ layers in 40 degree heat. We salute you, you sweat-less lolers🤚@cocacola sweater by @zara, blazer by @topman
- The One Step Ahead - So you robbed a few banks and tricked that ONE family into thinking you were their dead son.. now all of a sudden 'you're' the bad guy? Wtf right? Find it in the fugitive collection, out now from @topshop.
- The Mask - Tried one of these v.famous @blaq.mask facial treatments today. After a brief battle with my swimming pool sized pores, I feel like I've come out on top 🌞 Highly recommend it, reminds me of my face before my 20's turned it into a saggy relic of it's former tightness👌
- The Paperback - The story of one man, one woman, one robot, one time traveller, one inter-dimensional police force, one club owner, one trio of shaolin monks, one super advanced society, one doomsday device and one race of aliens. Plus like 50 sex scenes. I have a couple of limited edition 'proof' copies on sale now via the link in my bio. If you like futurism, extreme violence and rough sex, this is the book for you👌
- The Mr. Gray - No, that's not a typo; this look is for the type of Mr. Gray who likes it missionary with a side of Marlboro reds and a plate of potatoes. This might come as a shock ladies, but 'some' dudes don't like it when you try and pop a finger in their bottom. Don't hold it against us ☝️🍑🚫
- The New Year New You - For the man who knows all new years resolutions are rooted in a fear of inferiority; comes the latest in the keep-doing-the-same-lol-you've-always-done collection. It's astounding how many dopey universe praising douchebags think the end of the year is like some kind of cure-all for the soul. The universe is like a wild animal, and if given the chance, it will lol both you and your entire family with it's gnarly nebula star-lol. Stay vigilant, get a degree, learn a trade, be valuable; because that irony loving motherloler will make you redundant and give you lung cancer before you can even say "2018 is going to be my year" 💁♂️✨🍆✨.
- The Daddy - This summer, join the country club linen shirt brigade courtesy of @zara and @hm. Benefits include: ✔Cool pits; let the breeze cool your pits like God intended.
✔Clean lines; you can't be mad at a crisp linen. ✔Constant bj's; man or woman, none can resist the allure of linen.
✔Compliments galore; thanks to @realtomselleck, even your grandma likes a linen shirt. Just sit back, relax, and let a tidal wave of praise and bj's wash over you like it's 2-for-1 steak night at dreamgirls 🌊👅🍆🌊
- The Lord of Luxe - Part rock-and-roll, part "on your way home from an STD check". For the man who knows red bumps on your manhood can mean anything; and to definitely not freak out and think it's herpes so you buy a bunch of herpes medication but it turns out to be thrush and you're relieved but also how the lol did you get thrush, comes the latest in luxe-chic from @hm and @rayban. Speaking of Raybans: tag @visiondirect_au and
- The Expert - Wana hear me make jokes and talk lol about Influencer marketing? Go ahead and have a listen to @mazcompton and I on @theright.fit podcast. It'll make ya smile AND make ya think. It's a win-win! Link in my bio 😘